I was again browsing friendster, my account and lexel’s, to see updates from our friends na hindi na namen mashadong nakikita or nakakausap (hello, parang lahat ng friends namen from high school and college eh “inabandona” na namen dahil we’re still adjusting to our new status, of course we spent and will spend so many times together lalo na ckheil is on his way out..hehe)..usually sa friendster, pictures lang naman talaga tinitignan ko..hehe..

Then I came pass of friends na “in a relationship” tapos me sangkatutak na pix na nakapost sa accounts nila..hehe..nakakatuwa na inlove sila ngayon..pero pag naiisip ko na yung iba sa kanila, broke up with someone, someone na friend din namen, na nakita namen silang dalawa together, couple who used to love each other so much, tapos ngayon iba na yung kasama sa picture --- iba na yung kaakbay, iba na kasama sa mga out-of-town gigs, smiling like they’ve never been that happy before (like lexel and I never saw them really happy with their ex’s)…

Tapos naiisip ko yung friends ko nga na iniwan..na up until now single…kasi up until now they never got over their ex na happily attached na ngayon…at alam kong this Christmas would not be that great to them dahil shempre I know the feeling of wishing someone to be there for you, to hug you and tell you he loves you so much..

Minsan kahit parehas ko silang friend, I just can’t help being mad at one dahil he chose to leave my other friend alone..na how could he ever do that…

Pero come to think of it, hindi mo naman pwedeng ipilit ang hindi talaga pwede…Bakit naman kasi hindi pwedeng pag ayaw na ng isa, ayawan na..as in mutual ang decision to end the relationship..para sana no one needs to get hurt..

He finally got himself a girlfriend, he longed to get one years ago. They started on December. Things got rough, schedules from school became hectic, demands started to increase. They’ve broken up late Feb. He got himself his 2nd girlfriend by May that year. Got blamed by his first for falling in and out of love too easily, that he might not actually know what love is. Two years, 3 months, and 3 days after, he married that 2nd girlfriend and they’re currently living happily and waiting for their first born, scheduled to be part of this world late January of next year.

I use to think that you could never get over your first love…pero parang hindi na ganun sa paligid ko..or pati na sakin..i’ve fallen, say, twice before I married lexel…thought that each heartache would kill me and I could never love again..ewan ko na lang sa kabaduyan..ngayon, super ok naman kame ni lexel..gusto kong sabihing “never imagined life without him or not with him”..hehe..kasi pwede naman talaga akong magsurvive even without him..kaartehan lang and kadramahan yung mga linyang “di ko kayang wala sha”..haha! pero shempre, I would definitely choose to be with him for the longest time na pwede..kasi kahit pa madalas insensitive yun at laging asa harap ng computer at madalas akong kurutin, he never failed to amaze me..I just love that man so much..and I know he loves me more than anybody else..hehe..